The Blue Streak of My Soul

²⁶ And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. ²⁷ And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules. (Ezekiel 36:26-27)

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 I changed my hair yesterday. Perhaps I'm suffering from a midlife crisis or I'm just rebellin' a little. Which ever it is I did it and I don't regret it.

 

     I called up my hairstylist and said, "I need a change! Something has to change! I want color, lots of color." I'm sure that he wanted to tell me to slow down Rainbow Bright. I settled on blonde streaks with promised Luscious Lavender streaks. All I can say is, "the best laid plains of mice and men."

 

     My rebellion streaks, remember those Luscious Lavender things I mentioned earlier, well they turned into Blue Smurf streaks. I'm sure you are just riveted to your computer screen reading about my hair adventure. This really isn't about my hair, it may have started there but it ended in my soul.

 

    My hair caused some shock and awe at church. You know a good ol' Southern Baptist pastor's wife ain't supposed to be loud, sarcastic, moody, bossy, opinionated and darn tootin' she ain't supposed to have blue hair! I forgot to read the memo when Jesus signed me up for this ministry and truth be told, I think HE forgot to read it when HE designed me. I've tried to hard for 7 1/2 years to shove my rotund body in the square mold of a good and correct pastor's wife. If you are keeping up with the math that's only 6 months that I've been just trying to be who I'm designed to be and see what happens.

 

     Perhaps my blue streaks are my rally cry? The women of the 60's cried out how they were "woman" hear them roar! Perhaps I'm saying, "I am just a woman....I'm gonna holler now!" And to others I just want them to holler to! Be you, not the mold that the world sets around our beloved Christianity.

 

     And most definitely do not try to shove your unique self into the mold that we Christians have place strategically in our faith.

 

     My hair also caused some stares in the general public. Ok, this is a different feeling because people who don't know you wear exactly how they feel on their expressions when they see you. I spied my Mom and Ms. Carol eating lunch at a local Mexican place so I sauntered in to see what was going down with them two. You gotta keep an eye on them Golden Girls you know! Anyway, as I walked in a little lady was sitting in a booth, munching on a chimicanga or an empanada, and when she laid eyes on my hair. . . well let's just say I was worried that she was gonna choke on that Tex-Mex as she eyed me from head to toe.

 

     Now for a moment I forgot that my hair is bold now. I had forgotten I'd done something to stand out from the herd. I'm that sheep with the weird colored fur - wait, do sheep have fur?? Anyway you get the picture. It snapped for a second, "Oh yeah! You have blue in your hair dummy! What did you expect her to do."

 

     I smiled real big like at Chimichanga-chicky and moseyed on to my Mom. I'm pretty good and playing things off when they get to me. Have a good laugh. Crack a joke and I'll get over it eventually. I didn't get offended at her look. I got scared to stand out.

 

     I wanted to change MYSELF to appease her IDEA of NORMAL. I wanted to go back to the acceptable color of hair. The color of hair that doesn't make anyone quirk and eyebrow or look at me for longer than a few seconds. See, I'm ok hugging the wall. I'm the flower that rests BEHIND the wallflower and I'm cool with that. I felt abnormal as I walked out of that place, hoping that she would forget me.

 

     As I walked down to the pharmacy I almost got in the truck and just left. Figured I could stay inside for a few weeks until it faded. I remember something my hair guy said about baking powder and water....or was it soda? Then I felt that gentle nudge of God's HOLY SPIRIT inside me and I just shook my head and laughed. Maybe my blue hair streaks aren't holy enough for some to think that God cares but I can assure you that He does. He cares so much.

 

     My heart became calm and suddenly my blue streaks were a reminder of who I am in Jesus Christ! See I'm called out from among the lost. I've been shined up like a new penny people! I'm illuminated like a bonfire in the middle of nowhere but you can see the glow for miles before you find yourself at the fire's edge. So what if my blue streaks are just an illumination of what I feel inside?

 

     What if they are the spark that gets someone to ask me about them and then I can talk to them about an even greater fire I carry around? One they can't see like my hair. One that burns slowly, embers that have been stoked for the past 12 years inside me.

 

     So, I've decided that my hair is a shadow of my soul that resides with Jesus right now! Don't you dare expect me to be in Heaven running around just in white! I mean yeah, I want to wear that white but I can guarantee you that my Jesus, my Abba, will let me wear a rainbow of colors in my hair! You'll see me about town, New Jerusalem, with my ribbons and rainbow colored hair, because God has NEVER lost His claim on the rainbow even though it's been hijacked by sin. The RAINBOW OF COLORS IS HIS! It's a rainbow ya'll, not a black/white arch! RAINBOW

 

     And please let me warn you before hand; don't come at me with the "we shouldn't make our brothers stumble." I gotta say that if my blue streaks cause someone to stumble AWAY FROM JESUS, then they weren't ever headed toward Him in the first place.

 

     Let me tell you something dear reader!! When I saw Jesus there wasn't anything in this world that could have kept me away from Him. Nobody with funky hair, funky body odor or a funky sense of style could have kept me from Him! I was the woman with the issue of blood. I was spiritually anemic. I NEEDED HIM MORE THAN I NEEDED POPULAR APPROVAL!

 

     So, I like my blue streaks. When these fade I'll get another color if I choose. It's my hair that Jesus gave me. All curly, gnarly, frizzy and mysterious. I'm sure there are a few sets of keys and maybe a small animal or two in the knots that form but they are my knots. HE knows every hair on my head. HE has them numbered. HE KNOWS ME and HE LOVES ME ANYWAY!

 

     I'll close with this. I love you all but if I blow your idea of a PC appropriate Pastor's wife......GOOD! You need to destroy those molds that keep us bound up in legalism and unable to focus on worshiping Jesus. So from now on, when you see my hair, NO MATTER WHAT COLOR IT IS, just remember to tell Jesus you love him for your life here and in the hereafter.

 

     I'd be proud of that.

 

Mar