Yes, I know it's a cheesy song from the early 80's Those of us who were teens in the 80's remember that it was the song for the move of the same title. I barely remember the movie and it's not really important to this post. I just like the cheesy title since I'm going to blog about my love for my hubby.
Twenty-two years is a long time to be married today. We know lots of couples who have been married more than once. Lots of blended families. I'm not speaking badly of those situations just laying some ground work here for my blog. We were married at the ages of 18 and 19, only about 6 months after we first met. In fact, Teddy asked me to marry him on our first date. Now he didn't propose undying love he was simply trying to get lucky! His words! Our whirlwind love affair started at an ice cream shop called "Vanilla Ice." I can't make these things up people!
I suppose any love story that starts out in a place that served chunky chocolate by the scoop and had a pool table in it has got to survive the test of time right? Teddy rambled in one Saturday afternoon because his little brother was about to get his butt handed to him over a pool game. I'll never forget seeing him saunter into that place like he owned it. Long flowing dark blonde hair, flip flops . . . did I mention that he was wearing Bart Simpson boxer shorts as shorts? Yeah, I probably could have left that detail out. I thought he was pretty hot I mean I have always had a thing for long haired guys. It's left over from my teen years as an 80's rock chick. Let's just say that in the high society town of White Oak, Texas he was an oddity.
As much as I noticed him, he had noticed me. He swears it was my legs that caught his eye. I was a lot skinner back then and I was pretty cute. Cute enough to have a thing with a younger guy in White Oak that drove Teddy crazy. Crazy to the point that one night while I was on a date with the other guy he followed us all over the place in his rusted out Pinto! Eventually I gave in and he took me out on my very first date. When I used the word "date" earlier it wasn't a date. It was simply sex. Perhaps that's a bit blunt but it was reality for me at the time. For me I had learned to equate attention from guys with sex. That's how it was. I had become numb to that.
So here was this guy wanting to actually take me out on a date! I had no idea what that meant but I was pretty sure eventually it would just mean sex. Wasn't that what dating was all about? I had resolved myself to the fact that I wasn't ever going to have a boyfriend or anything serious but at least I could have come companionship however brief it was. He picked me up in his Pinto and it broke down on the way to the restaurant! HA! I'll never forget him hopping out of the car like it was no big deal and fiddling under the hood. I honked the horn. He bumped his head. It was the first time we had a genuine laugh at being silly.
Our first date was so strange but sweet for me. He took me to the Cotton Patch. I thought that was so fancy! I was scared to eat in front of him so I ordered a salad. A salad is safe right? Figured I would scarf something down later but right now I was going to look dainty. Umm, my salad came in a punch bowl with a gravy boat of ranch dressing! People, I am not kidding! It was the biggest salad I had ever seen. Teddy laughed all night about that. I took a doggy bag home of salad but I remember thinking I loved that he laughed so much. I hadn't really experienced that with anyone by my few friends.
Somehow we ended up at the mall. I wasn't really a mall girl. We went into a store, I think it was called General Merchandise but I can't really remember, and he led me to the jewelry department. Well let me tell you I was freaking out! What the heck was he trying to pull? I mean at that time in my life I would have "given it up" without some jewelry!! He bought me a small ring with two connected hearts that very first night. Not only that he put it on my finger. Later that night he would tell me he was going to marry me. I was petrified by this guy but at the same time I was pretty sure I had met the man meant for me.
Our next date was pretty simple. We went to a park at night and sat on the swings and talked. Oh and we kissed! Well what was throwing me for a loop was that he wasn't pushing sex on me. In fact, he wanted to take me to the Gregg County Fair on our next date! Well now THAT is a date! So, we walked into the fair a few days later and for the first time in my life a guy held my hand. I remember thinking "What is wrong with this dude??" My hand got clammy and I was constantly rubbing it on my jeans but he always took it back in his hand. Eventually I was smiling and kept looking down at that mash up of fingers and thought it was really nice. Our sweet walk around the fair was interrupted by an "ex" of mine. Not really an ex just someone I had slept with in my quest for intimacy. He called me over and actually flirted with me in front of Teddy. Teddy didn't not like that and basically told the guy to never talk to me or look at me again. Ha! I was freaking out inside because no guy had ever took up for me or "fought" for me. Well, this was getting really interesting and I was in uncharted waters.
I sort of imploded a bit and tested his nerves I think. I showed up very drunk at his home one night. I think that subconsciously I was trying to see if I could run him off. Didn't work and he stuck with me. I moved in with him and his mother about six weeks after meeting him. (Please note: I do not condone this. I was not a believer at this point in my life) We didn't really fight a lot. I just remember being so in love with this guy that it scared me to death. The fact that he loved me and didn't care who knew it was something new for me. I think for a long time, even after our wedding, that I kept waiting for him to realize who he married and run for the hills. That never happened, lucky me!
We were married on February 14th, 1992, a mere 6 months after meeting. The negativity that our friends and family gave us was pretty regular. We were told we wouldn't make it past the first year more than once. Teddy had come out of a family of divorce and it had impacted him very deeply. It seared something in his heart and mind that divorce was never going to be an option for him. For me, I had no good examples of marriage. I fully expected him to do one of a few things: 1. Leave me 2. Hit me 3. Cheat on me. I mean that was what I had seen the adults in my life go through and why should I expect anything different in my own marriage?
About a month after our wedding I was pregnant with Tyler Wayne. And when Tyler was 19 months old I was pregnant with Dakota Grey. The stresses of marriage and kiddos began to really weigh down on us both. I became that nagging shrew of a wife that every man dreads and Teddy became the absentee hubby at night. He would get off work and hang out with his co-workers closing down the local bar. I'd be at home with the kids, stewing on how he was living "the life" and I was stuck at home. Well that certainly didn't translate into sweet loving home atmosphere. In fact, our first 5 years of marriage were hell. Let me repeat that dear reader, the first FIVE YEARS OF OUR MARRIAGE WERE HELL!!! We fought so much. I threw countless things at him. We bought a lot of universal remotes during this period of our lives. He just couldn't figure out that he was a husband and father now. The party days are gone. Family is first. I couldn't figure out that it wasn't my job to nag him to death or scream at him all the time. We were so lost.
Eventually he joined the Army and became the man he was supposed to be. During his time in the military my own inner demons got the best of me and I had a clinical nervous breakdown. It was at this time that he could have left me and taken the boys. I was unfit at the time to be a wife or a mother. I was broken so badly that I can't give it adequate description here. He didn't leave, not even one tiny step backwards. He did everything he could to get me well. He even drove me 2x a week over an hour and a half away for my treatments. He never stopped telling me he loved me or that it would be ok. For his care and love during that darkest time in my life I am forever grateful. If that was the only thing he ever did for me I would love him till my dying breath but he's done so much more.
Years roll by and we find ourselves in the ministry. He's an amazing man of God. I look at him and I see Jesus. I hear it in his sermons. I see it when he's pouring over books to pass yet another class on his journey towards a Masters degree. I watch as he talks with the congregation. Shaking hands, laughing and encouraging. He's a man who is so in love with Jesus that I have to look through Jesus to see him. I have never loved him more than I do right now. His faith is amazing to me. I struggle with doubts and fears that I'm just not going to be with Jesus. I'm not good enough. I haven't figured out how to conquer all my past demons yet. He is a fount of never ending encouragement and words of wisdom for me.
He actually thinks I'm beautiful. Even 22 years later I'm like "whatever!" when he tells me that. I should really not do that I think. There is never a day that I experience a moment where I think "uh oh he doesn't want me anymore. He doesn't love me." Never in our years together have I felt that. Even when I was trying to make him leave me. . . he never did. There isn't a person on this earth that could ever come to me and say that my husband was cheating on me or didn't love me. You'd have a better chance convincing me that he's an alien. I've had my suspicious about that anyway! :P
Some would say that I'm being naïve that I say without hesitation that I know my husband loves me and would never cheat on me. To that I say, whatever! I used to feel a weird sense of guilt for having a great marriage. I'd hear things from other women and would see that desire in their eyes for me to agree or say that I had experienced the bad things to. I would feel uncomfortable talking about how perfect my marriage is. Now listen, I say perfect and I mean it. Perfect for me and for him.
There isn't anything that I don't know about him and he knows every single thing about me. I have held nothing back from him. Even from the very beginning I was honest with him. Today he is my #1 go to guy when I have a problem. He's the person I think of first in the morning and the last one I think of at night. I laugh more with him that I laugh with anyone else. And people, I laugh ALOT! I have the most amazing friends in my life that make me giggle on a daily basis but my man holds my funny bone in his hands. I love our inside jokes that only we get. Little phrases that we say which will crack us up and make others look at us like we've escaped the local nut house. I cry freely with him. He knows me so well that when my brain is causing me pain, when my depression is threatening to take me over, he is so in tuned with me that he sees it and knows what to do. That makes him my heavenly soul-mate.
Perhaps people don't really believe in soul-mates. I read a blog recently from a woman about her husband being her soul-mate and it made me look over at my man and smile. Cause I have my very own soul man! He's mine. There's something in the way he looks at me. The way his eyes twinkle when he's making me annoyed. He knows how to aggravate me to the point of smacking him! He is a know it all and you can't hardly win an argument with him. He's infuriating in this! Given those few minor annoyances he is simply beautiful to me. I would go anywhere he said to go. Sell everything I have to live with him in a tent somewhere, just as long as I have him. Yep, I love him to the very depths of my heart and soul but I genuinely like him as a person. How many married couples can say they really LIKE their mate? If you can't then you need to start trying harder because marriage is all about out serving your spouse.
He's snoring right now. Snoring like a rhino in Africa. Snoring like a rhino in Africa with a deviated septum! Seriously? I may or may not cover his head with a pillow to stop it! Nahh, I won't do that but I will end up shaking him violently. He'll start snoring again and I will put my hand on his back. Not to stop him but just because I like to feel him breathing. Sometimes I wake up after a nightmare and the only thing that calms me is putting my hand over his heart. He'll barely wake up and ask me what's wrong. I recount my nightmare and he prays for me in a sleepy voice, covers my hand in his and goes back to sleep. I know that I will get to keep him with me until Jesus calls one of us home. Preferably when we are in our late 90's surrounded by our kids, grandkids and great grandkids. It doesn't matter who goes first because it will be a very short time and we'll be reunited again with our true love Jesus Christ! I can say that Teddy is my greatest gift from the Lord on this earth. I'm so thankful for him and I don't tell him that enough.
Teddy you are definitely my endless love.
Love you babe.
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